Large Box
by IISassyAlienII
Summary: Zapp Brannigan orders a pet guard alien that comes in a large box (titled so for lack of a better name). To him, having the vicious alien aboard seems like a good idea, but Kif disagrees. ((Please read and review, constructive criticism will help improve my writing c: ))
1. Chapter 1: Large Box

"Good news, everyone!" The Professor exclaimed happily as he entered the conference room. He pushed a hover dolly in in front of him, on top of it a large box. "You get to deliver a large box!"

"That sounds like more effort than a medium sized box," Bender replied.

"Where are we delivering it to?" Leela asked.

The professor checked a clipboard he was holding as he straightened his glasses, "It says here you're delivering it to The Nimbus."

"So Zapp Brannigan ordered this?" Leela asked. The Professor nodded. "Oh Lord." She sighed annoyed at the thought of seeing Zapp again.

Nibbler stalked over to the box and sniffed at it curiously. He made odd chattering noises and hissed, then ran around in a small circle. Whatever was in the box, he didn't seem happy about it. No one noticed his strange little spaz attack, but he continued doing it.

"Can I sit this one out?" Leela asked.

"No, Leela!" The Professor said.

"Why not?"

"Did you not just hear Bender?" The Professor asked, "it's more effort than a medium sized box! All hands on deck! Plus I don't trust Fry and Bender alone on a normal delivery... let alone with a large box. Now shoo, pigeons!"

...

Leela looked incredibly unhappy as she piloted the ship.

Fry sized the box up, "what do you think's in it?" he asked.

"It's Zapp Brannigan so something perverted I'm sure." Leela said.

"Giant box... I hate exerting energy." Bender said, talking to the box. He was obviously drunk.

"Bender, stop drinking on the job." Leela said.

Bender gasped, "Box... you talk?"

Leela rolled her eyes.

"We should sing a fun song to pass the time." Fry suggested.

"...~My anaconda don't!~" Bender started.

...

They docked their ship on the Nimbus and Kif was there to greet them.

"Hi, Kif." Leela said.

"Hello," he said and signed for the box as Fry and Bender brought it out.

"What's in it, if you don't mind me asking?" Fry asked Kif.

"I have no idea." Kif said. "Zapp just told me he was expecting a delivery."

Kif led Fry and Bender into the control area where Zapp was so they could place the box down.

Zapp looked over, "Oh, where's Leela?"

"On our ship." Fry said.

"What's she doing there?" Zapp asked, "I wanted to say hi to her," he said sexually.

"She doesn't like you," Bender said.

"How is that possible?" Zapp asked.

"You're an asshole." Bender said.

"Enjoy your box," Fry said to Zapp as he and Bender exited and headed back to their ship.

Zapp got up and examined the box.

"So, sir, what's in it?" Kif asked.

"See for yourself," Zapp said as he opened the huge box.

The box opened and Kif let out a startled gasp as Zapp looked satisfied with the delivery. The box was holding a big, monstrous alien. It had black fur with yellow patches. It was probably a little smaller than a grizzly bear, but it had the body of one. It looked extremely muscular. It had a long tail and a face like a large cat. One eye was yellow and the other was brown with an intimidating gaze. It looked like it wanted to tear something apart.

"What is that!?" Kif asked.

"Our new guard dog." Zapp said.

"Why!?"

"I think the real question is why not." Zapp replied.

"The box doesn't even have holes! How did it breathe?" Kif asked.

"He doesn't need to breathe, breathing is for the weak. Why would I order a weak guard alien?" Zapp asked.

"Where did you even find it?" Kif asked.

"Online... I buy things off the Internet, I can't help it." The alien stepped out of the box and looked at Zapp. "Sit." He commanded. The alien did so. "He's also fully trained."

"Does it have a name?" Kif asked.

"His name is Gabe." Zapp said. "Imagine how much more intimidating I'll be with him by my side." He said and put a hand on his new pet's head.

Gabe stood up and walked towards Kif, sniffing him. "What's he doing?" Kif asked nervously.

"He's probably just curious." Zapp said.

Gabe then tried to bite Kif's leg, but he yanked it away with a terrified yelp. "Sir, I think it wants to eat me!"

"Don't be silly, Kif, he's an omnivore, he won't eat you." Zapp said. "You just need to get used to him. Gabe, come." Gabe walked up to Zapp. Zapp bend down on one knee and Gabe affectionately licked his cheek. "See? He's nice, you just need to show him who the master is."

Kif tried it, "Gabe, sit."

Gabe turned to him and growled.

"Yeah, you're not the master." Zapp said.


	2. Chapter 2: The Rouge Aliens

Weeks had past since Zapp's new alien pet, Gabe, arrived. Since then, Gabe had been staring down Kif and other crew members as if they were a meal and the terrifying alien's presence had made Kif more paranoid than usual and some nights he hardly slept.

"Kif, you look awful," Zapp said as Kif walked into the control room. Zapp was sitting in his chair and Gabe was laying down beside him on the floor. Gabe looked up at Kif when Zapp started talking to him.

"It's because I didn't sleep very well last night, Sir." Kif said. "I keep thinking your pet is going to eat me in my sleep." He shivered in fright as Gabe looked at him with a cold stare.

"Nonsense, Kif, he's in my room all night. You only have to worry about him eating you during the day." Zapp said.

Just then the huge screen turned on and Nixon's face appeared, he was elsewhere at the moment. "Brannigan," he said, "A large group of rouge aliens equipped with weapons have been spotted in a deserted forest on Earth. They're not near any human civilization, but they could be potentially dangerous. I need you to go chase them out... or just talk to them, whichever works."

"On it, Mr. President." Zapp said as the ship set course for Earth."

...

The rouge aliens were setting up their base. The aliens were a little taller than humans and their skin was different shades of pink. They had long ears and short tails. They had somewhat catfish-like features on their faces and their hands were webbed.

The Nimbus was starting to land.

"Oh no, here comes trouble," one of the aliens breathed annoyed, recognizing that the ship was driven by someone who could stop them.

Zapp stepped out of the ship with Kif on one side of him and Gabe on the other.

"Greetings, aliens," Zapp said as he approached them. "I heard that you all may be a danger to this planet, so I'm here to ask you if that's true."

"Absolutely not, Sir," One of the aliens lied.

"Pfft, why lie?" The lead alien asked.

"Um, are you sure you want to-" one of the aliens tried to ask his leader but was cut off as he continued to speak.

"This is Zapp Brannigan. Sure they say he's a good captain, but when you do your research, you learn he's nothing but a dimwitted buffoon. So what if he's knows we're trying to take over Earth? He won't do anything about it." Said the lead alien.

Zapp pulled out a gun and held it pointing at the alien, "what about now?"

"Your weapons have no effect on us," said the alien as he took out a larger gun and held it to Zapp, "you'll be on your way now."

Kif gulped, he couldn't hide he was getting scared. Zapp also seemed a little bit intimidated, but he wasn't going to loose his cool just yet. He looked down. He had almost forgot he had a big, frightening alien pet.

"Gabe, attack," he commanded.

Gabe growled deeply and menacingly at the alien and unsheathed two seven-inch saber fangs and lunged at the alien, pinning him on the ground and knocking away his gun with a giant hand. The alien yelled out in fear, but Gabe tore into him.

It was getting a lot worse so everyone looked away from the gory scene. Kif did not look away. He was staring at it in complete shock and horror. He proceeded to pass out. Not only from the gooey pink stuff oozing from the alien corpse, but because he knew that that could potentially happen to him if Gabe got hungry or ballsy enough.

Gabe turned to the rest of the aliens after finishing up with the leader and growled as if to say "who's next?"

They all freaked out and ran for their small ships not too far away. Gabe barked and chased after them until they retreated into their ships and flew off. Gabe jumped up and down, still barking and snarling as if to say, "and don't come back!"

Gabe padded back over to Zapp who bent down. "Good boy, Gabe!" He said and patted his companion. "You gave them quite the scare." Gabe's tail wagged. "Let's go," he said and walked back to the ship with Gabe by his side.

Once they were in the ship it flew off. A couple minutes later it came back. Zapp sped walked out of the ship, "almost forgot Kif." He said as he bent down and picked up his passed out friend then walked back towards the ship. "That would have been a smart thing to remember."


	3. Chapter 3: Nibbler vs Gabe

About a month and a half later, Zapp and Kif were visiting Planet Express for the same reason they did a time before: to ask for the Professor's help with coming up with a plan when Zapp was too cowardly to come up with one himself. The rouge aliens had grown in numbers and got a giant space ship. Now they were planning to take over a planet a couple solar systems over. So, the Professor went to another room to collect a couple of inventions he'd been working on.

Meanwhile, Kif and Amy sat down on the couch together. Even Amy noticed that Kif looked off. She didn't ask yet, but he didn't hesitate to tell her why.

"So Zapp got this terrifying alien." Kif said, pointing to Gabe who loyally stood by Zapp's side.

Amy looked at the black furred alien with a look of distaste, "It does look pretty menacing. But it looks trained. What's the worse that could happen?"

"It could kill me." Kif said.

Across the room, Zapp walked over to Leela who was sitting at the table with Fry and Bender. Nibbler was laying on Leela's lap.

"Woah, where'd you get that hella ugly bear?" Bender asked Zapp.

"Gabe here is what came in the box you delivered to me," Zapp said. He then turned to Leela, obviously to flirt, "so, what do you think of my alien?"

She looked annoyed, "Don't tell me you bought that thing to pick up women. It's not even appealing."

"No, I got him as backup and he's the toughest alien there is." Zapp said. Gabe just sat there with a blank expression, not paying attention.

"Does he just sit staring off into space?" Fry asked.

"Sometimes." Zapp said.

"Is it a robot?" Leela asked.

"No," Zapp said.

"Is it stupid?" Fry asked.

"Are you calling robots stupid?" Bender asked.

Nibbler observed Gabe then leapt off of Leela's lap. Gabe's attention turned to Nibbler as Zapp continued to go on about how great and strong and fearless his new alien companion was.

Nibbler looked at Gabe curiously, but Nibbler was in Gabe's personal space. Gabe snarled loudly at him and pounced at him as if he were a meal. Gabe made a loud barking noise while picking Nibbler up by his cape, and probably would have thrashed him around by a chew toy if Leela hadn't stepped in.

"Nibbler!" Leela yelled, noticing her pet dangling by his cape in Gabe's jaws. Gabe was distracted by Leela's yell and dropped Nibbler out of shock.

Nibbler landed on the ground, shook himself off, then jumped up biting Gabe's tail.

"Gabe!" Zapp said, just now noticing the little scrap fight.

Nibbler's intent was probably to eat Gabe, just to get rid of a potential enemy. Gabe yipped loudly, thrashing around, trying to throw Nibbler off. After a couple seconds, Gabe was able to escape from Nibbler's bite, throwing him to the ground.

Gabe whined loudly and hid behind Zapp's leg whimpering. Nibbler hissed at the giant alien before turning to Leela, flashing his giant puppy-dog eyes with sad whimpering noises.

"Poor Poopsie Doodle! Mommy's got you!" Leela said, picking up Nibbler and cradling him.

"Are you ok, boy?" Zapp asked, bending down and patting Gabe's head. Gabe made a high pitched whining noise.

"Toughest alien there is?" Fry asked, repeating what Zapp had said before. "He's shaking like a chihuahua."

"Aw man, that was just starting to get interesting," Bender said.

"Keep that thing away from Nibbler!" Leela snapped at Zapp.

"Sorry, Leela, I don't know what got into him," Zapp said, "well, it is partially Nibbler's fault for looking like a chew toy. And he did provoke him by getting in his personal bubble."

"He didn't start it, and he can't help how he looks!" Leela said, "Come on, Nibbler, you don't need to take this from Captain Moron and his savage of a pet." Before she carried her little alien pet into the other room, she kicked Zapp powerfully in the gut.

"Oof!" Zapp clutched his gut.

"Now it has officially been interesting." Bender said.

Zapp walked over to the couch, still with a hand over where Leela had kicked him, and insensitively sat down between Amy and Kif.

"...Oh, no, that's fine, you're not literally in the middle of anything." Kif sarcastically said annoyed to Zapp.

"Oh, good." Zapp said, not picking up on the sarcasm.

Kif rolled his eyes. He and Amy stood up and went to another location where they could be together.

Zapp was a bit saddened by what had just happened. He tried to ignore the nagging thought in the back of his mind that it was Gabe's fault. Leela hated him even more now than she had before. Gabe's head rested on Zapp's lap. Gabe whimpered, sensing Zapp was sad and tried to make him feel better.

Zapp patted Gabe's head, "it's alright, you're a good boy." He waited for the Professor to come back with those inventions and a plan about what he was going to do about the rouges.


	4. Chapter 4: Captured

Eventually, the Professor came back with a ship similar to the one-man stealth fighter, only this stealth fighter was bigger and could fit up to five people and when it turned invisible, from the outside, it made it look as though the people inside were invisible as well.

Zapp was going to infiltrate the alien's headquarters on Mars with this stealth fighter.

Before leaving, Gabe glared threatening over at Nibbler. Nibbler hissed and Gabe growled.

Awhile after Zapp had left with Kif and Gabe, Leela was still sitting with Nibbler. Fry had also walked over and sat with them.

"That alien of Zapp's is bad news." Nibbler grumbled.

"You know him?" Leela asked.

"I know he goes by Operative Gabe, he's apart of a crew made up of his species that travels the universe carrying out missions given to them by their government. I don't know him personally, no," Nibbler said, "but he is of a race of intelligent aliens who mostly use their intelligence and weapons for evil. Our superior race has been at war with theirs for centuries."

"What caused you to go to war?" Leela asked.

"Roughly nine hundred years ago, they tried to take over our planet. We drove them off, but a couple decades later, we met them in combat where they were helping the Brain Spawn." Nibbler explained.

"What do you think Gabe's doing with Zapp Brannigan?" Fry asked.

"I'm not sure," Nibbler said, "he probably has a scheme up his sleeve, he might be using him to get to something. However, I don't know what that something would be."

"Should we stop him just to be safe?" Fry asked.

"I'm just going to lay low until he does something worth stopping. Even so, I probably should contact my people just so they know where he is now." Nibbler said. "But if he comes around here asking for something, it's probably to get to me now that he knows I'm here."

...

Zapp was piloting the stealth fighter while Kif and Gabe sat beside him. Kif was holding onto a button.

"Sir, are you sure it's safe for just us to go alone without backup?" Kif asked.

"We have backup, it's called Gabe." Zapp said and patted Gabe on the head. "And of course if anything goes wrong, we can push that button to contact the others back on the ship."

Kif glanced at Gabe who sat close to him in the stealth fighter. Even though this ship was an improvement from the last one, it was still kind of crammed and he was uncomfortable being so close to the large alien.

Gabe looked at Kif, sensing he was afraid, but not sure of what. Gabe licked his cheek reassuringly, trying to make him feel better.

"Sir, it's tasting me!" Kif said becoming more paranoid. Gabe's head tilted.

"He just likes you," Zapp said.

They had entered Mars' atmosphere and the alien's headquarter was in sight.

"Where do we land?" Kif asked.

"Probably in that convenient opening in the roof." Zapp said, pointing towards it as he flew the stealth fighter into it.

They landed the small-ish ship once they flew down into the opening of the large building.

Zapp looked around, the coast seemed clear. Cautiously, he lifted up the top of the stealth fighter. He, Kif, and Gabe stepped out.

The stealth fighter remained invisible.

"Remember! Stay quiet, both of you," Zapp yelled loudly.

Kif sighed and Gabe's ears flattened.

The three of them quietly made their way down the large, dark corridor. Zapp held his gun and Kif was ready to push the button at any moment. Gabe had a blank, dull expression, but was fully alert. Gabe looked up and to the side with an ear twitch.

Out if nowhere, a horde of aliens rushed in and attacked them. Before Kif could push the button, they snatched it from him, and before Zapp could pull out his gun, the aliens took it as well. The aliens handcuffed them.

"I suppose you're back to try and stop us," Said the new lead alien, confronting Zapp and Kif.

"And we will. Gabe, attack-" Zapp was about to say and looked down, but Gabe was not there. Gabe had disappeared. "Well that's inconvenient, where did he go?" Zapp wondered aloud.

"Throw them in the jail cells," The lead alien said as the others took Zapp and Kif away.

Elsewhere in the building, Gabe walked towards a door and opened it. There were a ton of small ships in the room belonging to the aliens. Gabe had found the room no problem, as if knowing the building inside and out. Gabe walked up to a ship, opened it, and hopped in. Gabe knew exactly how to pilot those kind of ships, and after pressing a few buttons, the ship flew up and through a large, open window. Gabe flew the ship off of Mars and headed for Earth.


	5. Chapter 5: More Aliens With Guns

Zapp and Kif sat locked in two separate jail cells on opposite sides of the the hall.

"Kif?" Zapp asked.

"Yes, sir?" Kif asked more annoyed than scared of the current situation.

"Why didn't you press the button to call for back up?" Zapp asked as if Kif didn't even think about pressing it.

"Because they stole it, sir." Kif sighed annoyed.

"Well, then there is no hope." Zapp said, "don't blame yourself, lieutenant, although it is really all your fault. What matters is we tried." He walked to the corner of the cell and curled up, immediately giving up.

Kif sighed and stood up. He was going to put some effort into finding a way out. He couldn't help but wonder where Gabe ran off to and he started to wonder if the alien was more intelligent than it let on. 'He probably ran away to save himself.' Kif thought, 'Only a month and a half with Zapp and he's already taken after him.'

...

Elsewhere, Gabe's small ship had crashed on a planet that was not earth. The coordinates must have been off or something. Gabe was walking through a strange forest and noticed civilization a mile or so off. Gabe picked up the pace to a run.

...

Coincidentally, Fry, Bender, and Leela were just delivering a package in that same city. They were dressed as these blue humanoid aliens, probably to look like the aliens that live on the planet. They were walking back to the ship which they had to park kind of far away since there was no closer place to park. To get back, they had to walk through this ominous, sketchy neighborhood.

"At least no one's here," Fry said.

"Shh," Leela said, "The inhabitants could be anywhere, and the aliens that live on this planet don't like humans."

"We sure do go to a lot of planets inhabited by aliens that hate humans," Fry said.

"It's a hard business to be in... at least for you mammals." Bender said.

Then, out of the shadows stepped two aliens, guns in their hands. "Stop right there," one of them called.

Fry, Leela, and Bender turned around.

"We haven't seen the three of you around here," the other one said, as they approached them.

"Oh, we're just passing through," Leela said, keeping her cool.

The other alien sized them up and narrowed his eyes, "...you two are humans! And you're a robot." He immediately figured out. The two aliens drew their guns.

"Well, so much for these pathetic costumes," Bender said.

"What? That's ridiculous! Humans are horrible," Leela lied.

"Your shiny metal friend just admitted it," said the alien.

"Even through a costume I'm still just as shiny," Bender said proudly.

"Bender! You're not helping," Fry scolded.

"Hiya!" Leela yelled and kicked the gun out of one of the alien's hand. The other alien shot at her, but missed and shot Bender instead.

"Ow!" Bender yelled, "I'm sure that would hurt if I had flesh!"

"Run," Leela said, pushing Fry and Bender, getting ready to follow them.

Before Fry, Bender, and Leela could turn around to run, they heard a loud and menacing snarl. The blue aliens heard the noise, too. They turned to see what had made the noise, it was Gabe.

The large, alien growled staring intimidatingly at the blue aliens, then charged in, leaping up and biting the alien's arm who held the gun. He yelled and let go.

"Isn't that Zapp's?" Fry asked.

Gabe leapt backwards and growled at the aliens. The other alien picked up his gun and shot Gabe in the shoulder. Gabe flinched, but it didn't seem to be effective.

The aliens looked worried when their shot did nothing. Gabe growled louder and charged in at them, but the two fled.

Gabe huffed and sat down, licking the barely wounded shoulder. "What is with all of these violent aliens with guns? This whole universe is going to hell." Gabe muttered in, surprisingly, a female voice. She looked up at Fry, Bender, and Leela who were staring at her. "Oh."

"You talk?" Bender asked.

"You're a girl?" Fry asked.

Gabe sized them up, "I'm sorry, do I know you?" She asked, clearly not able to see through their obvious disguises.

"We're from Planet Express," Leela said.

"Ooh..." Gabe said, still lost. They wiped off their blue face paint and took of their disguises. "Oh! You're those people who were with that Lord Nibbler runt. I was actually looking for you."

"Why didn't you just check at Planet Express?" Bender asked.

"Because I can't fly a gosh darn space ship." Gabe muttered. "Anyhow, Captain and Squish have been captured and I figure since there are three of you and one of me, we can make four and save them."

"How do we know you're not lying?" Leela asked.

"Why would I? That would require a little extra effort. I don't have a little extra effort." Gabe said.

"Nibbler told us you work for an evil government." Fry said.

"Ok, one, it's not evil. Two, I quit awhile ago... and by quit I may actually mean I was fired. And, three, Nibbler is stupid." She stood up, about to turn around, but her tail was in the way and she accidentally tripped, falling on her face. She huffed, stood up and shook herself off trying to pretend that didn't just happen, "Hehm. Let's go."

"Wait, why should we help Zapp?" Leela asked.

"Aren't you two friends?" Gabe asked.

"No." Leela said, "couldn't you tell how annoyed I was with him when he came to Planet Express?"

"Annoyed?" Gabe asked, "Hm, perhaps I mistook it for sexual tension. Look... please?" Gabe would have given a reason why they should help, but she couldn't come up with one.

Leela sighed, she knew it wouldn't be right to let Zapp die, and Kif was a friend. And after all, Gabe did just save them from the aliens. "Ok, fine." She gave in.

The four of them then made their way to the ship.


End file.
